Good weekend

We have had a good weekend! Friday night we finished the tree (two photos of Pete looking happy now it is done) and Pete was so much happier. So Saturday was a really nice smiley day, also a very busy day! We started by putting up our ceiling decorations (photo) which Pete made 2 or 3 years ago. I wasn't going to do them this year, but we decided to give it a go! It took about 2 hours as all the threads had to be untangled first, which Pete helped do as much as he could with one hand and then I had to climb a step ladder to get them up! This worried Pete and there were many sharp intakes of breath as I wobbled up and down! There were 11 to put up in all. But it got done with no mishaps - so we are now fully decorated and ready. You have to understand that, usually, I trot off to work one day and then come home to find it all done, and then after Christmas, I trot off again and come home to find it all down and put away! So major change this year!!!
Then Saturday evening I went out with Mel and my mate from work, Fiona, whilst Martin was on daddy sitting duty again! They watched 'Men in Black 3' and all enjoyed it although Pete did fall asleep for a while apparently. We three ladies had a nice meal, couple of drinks and, mainly, a good chat and gossip. Also admired Fiona's new engagement ring, beautiful, so congratulations Fiona and Manny. I will be bringing Pete to throw the confetti on 1st June next year!
Today has also been a good one, we had a really good lie in, then in the kitchen to prepare lunch.
This afternoon we had a look at an article about Edwyn Collins, a musician who had a major stroke a few years ago and ended up a bit the same as Pete, right side paralysis, speech problems etc. it is very inspiring as he has now recovered enough to record a new album. He has the same right arm inactivity but feels it will get a bit better soon and is slowly overcoming the no speech bit - this gives us much hope. Adrian found the article and emailed it to us and he has also ordered the book written by his wife - so are looking forward to getting this and I will read it to Pete. It has all taken 2 or 3 years but this seems to be the norm. He also started drawing wildlife with his left hand and is doing well. After reading this, Pete went and got some clay and tried to start to make something. This was so good as it is a start to him getting back to what he used to do. He only did it for about 5 minutes, but I will encourage him to do it again. It won't be perfect just using his left hand but I am sure he will improve.
Martin also came this afternoon to give me lessons on my new phone! Pete got a bit upset after this and I think it was because he can't use one at the moment.
We have also done our exercises, so, all in all, 2 good days.

Change of Mood

Well, I think we may be back on track now! Last night just deteriorated from bad to worse, all about Christmas tree lights! They all worked at the beginning but then one set packed up. Easy solution, get more bulbs. But Pete didn't seem happy about this and wanted it sorted NOW. Anyway after lots of bad temper and swapping bulbs and eventually chopping off a plug (don't ask) and me not understanding what he wanted to do, and then me rewiring a plug at 10.15pm, we went off to bed in a bad mood and basically not speaking. By the way, I haven't rewired a plug before (I know, everyone should know how to do that, but I didn't) and had to do it under instructions from Pete, involving much banging around finding screwdrivers, etc.
This morning we woke and I resolved to be nicer as I really hadn't been last night. It went ok although Pete was very very quiet and subdued. I had to go into town so bought two more sets of lights and some spare bulbs. I also indulged in a little retail therapy for myself, and then got the left handed scissors and vegetable peeler for Pete. When I got back we had lunch but then the lights had to be put on the tree, so I counted to ten and then did that. Then it was on with all the baubles etc. which Pete helped with and the atmosphere was getting lighter all the time - so obviously all the upset was to do with getting the tree finished. Then he went and got a couple of presents that needed wrapping, so that was done and he used the new scissors to cut the paper - what a difference the right implements make. Worked brilliantly!
Then on to do exercises on his legs and hand, and I think we did them all - and to finish, a bit of toe wiggling!! We used the ball for some hand exercises which, I think, Pete found a bit painful but he wanted to continue so we did. Mission completed!
At tea time Pete tried his new peeler and peeled a potato with not many problems. Once he gets used to it, it will be great. Slow, but great. But now this is another task he can do and he can be more involved in meal preparation, which is what he wanted.
So, we are both much much happier tonight. About an hour ago Pete went off and got the local paper out and found the adverts for cats!! So, he wants a cat now, which I am all for. Not a kitten, more rehome an older cat, but first I have to get permission from the Landlord. We have always had a cat until just before we came here. We did think about a small dog but I was a bit concerned as he could fall over it and also would need walking. I think a cat would be ideal, especially an older one that likes to be fussed over. Will keep you updated on this!!
Phot today is our beautiful granddaughter after having her hair curled. Good day today.
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Impatience!!

No blog yesterday - just didn't have time to do it! Speech therapy with Bev in the morning, and I had decided I wouldn't tell her we were trying sounds, but lo and behold, she had decided herself to try some!! So I told her which we were trying but couldn't get any further and she didn't have any more luck. Pete tends to get hooked on the 'Lu' sound and can't get past it, just keeps saying it. The word for this is perseverance, where the brain perseveres with one thing and just won't give up. Anyway, she then decided to try singing (yes, we have been there already with nothing happening) and tried the song Jingle Bells, in the hope a word would pop out, but, again, nothing. So then moved on to writing and letter recognition, which went quite well with Pete being able to remember missing letters for a short time, but then perseverance kicked in with the letter O which he tried to put in everything! It is a very odd phenomenon.
Suzanne and Susie came in the afternoon for physio, which went well, and we have also got a new exercise with the ball. She asked about kitchen tasks Pete can do and I said the main problem was peeling vegetables as couldn't get the angle right. She had the answer - he needs a left handed peeler - doh, why didn't I think of that!?!?! I told her the kitchen work station is pretty useless and wouldn't recommend it, but the one handed tin opener is brilliant. Anyway I need to purchase the left handed peeler and some left handed scissors.
Today we have done no exercises at all. Despite agreeing the decorations wouldn't go up till the weekend, Pete decided today was the day. He has got very impatient and doesn't like planning ahead, if he decides to do something it has to be done NOW. This has happened several times and it doesn't matter what I am doing, that has to stop to do what he wants. This can be very annoying at times. The Christmas Tree caused an anger outburst as he has customised the base, which has been fine in previous years, but this year I had no idea how to set it up. We tried several ways but had to give up and we have had to get a new tree. He just got very angry, and so did I, that it wasn't working. This resulted in us both being so cross we didn't want any lunch. Then come tea time I asked him something and got another outburst, he just wasn't making himself clear - he says yes to every question and then you have to wait for the head nod or shake, and he wasn't making any sense, so another disasterous meal. We have been out tonight and bought the turkey and a few bits and a new tree and things seem to have calmed down a bit thank goodness. But we had to put the tree up immediately, and I said I would do lights tomorrow, but no, out came the lights to go on now.
So a bit of a stressful day today, and now the wind is howling and rain/hail banging on the window. Hope for a better day tomorrow.

Censoring!!

When I have written my blog Pete likes me to read it out to him, which is fair enough as it is about us both. But I must admit that I do leave certain bits out, especially when it is about how I am feeling as if he knows I am upset, then he gets upset and off we go on an emotional bout. Today has been fine until this evening when, again, for some reason, I just keep welling up. I have to hide this as don't want to set him off, but if I disappear then he comes looking for me, so sometimes when I just want to go off on my own and have a good cry - I cant!! This doesn't really help but I have to think of him first so can mostly hide it.
I went to sort about his signature this morning and they said if I put an explanatory note with the signed form they will accept it - I hope they do! Will soon find out - it is all to do with money so it had better work!! They did suggest I should get Power of Attorney but this seems a bit extreme to me at this stage, after all he fully understands everything, it is just that his signature has changed. Anyway will see what happens.
Today we did all the exercises but I'm not sure I got the new ones right, but had a good go anyway. I can check with Suzanne tomorrow. Pete's foot was icy cold again and apparently this is quite common after a stroke - the brain not receiving message that the foot is cold and opening blood vessels to improve blood flow - you live and learn! So really just have to rub and massage it to get blood flowing better manually!!!
We are also continuing with sounds and may have got the 'Ooooh' sound as well now. One problem is that sometimes the brain just latches on to one thing and just keeps on with that and won't move on to something else, as in a different sound. There is a word for this but I can't remember what it is. We have got the speech therapist coming tomorrow which is the first time for two and a half weeks - but she won't see any difference. I haven't decided whether to say we are going for words/sounds, probably won't!!
I am feeling a bit better now after writing this! We had a good night last night so hoping for the same tonight.

New Exercises

Today has been a quiet day, with us not doing much. Pete hasn't seemed too bad in spirit but after lunch he was feeling a bit 'off'. It was too late to cancel the physios so we decided to just see what he was like when they arrived. He is also still getting pain in his leg, but there are no visible signs of infection - no swelling, rash or redness - so that is a bit of a mystery but it is not unbearable. Probably just muscle pain, but the physios are going to monitor it. Anyway, when they arrived he said he would like to do exercises so it was agreed they would go gently and if he felt unwell they would leave it. He actually got on alright and managed to do all they wanted and after they had gone he said he felt alright, so probably concentrating on something other than how he was feeling was good for him. I have been shown two new exercises to do with him to try and loosen his hamstrings. Just a few times each day should be enough. One is getting him to lift his right leg from the knee only, not moving his thigh or hips, the other is to slide his right foot along the floor and then pull it back, and not to lean back whilst doing it. This is done whilst his foot is on a plastic carrier bag to enable it to slide easily. So we will add these on to the core exercises we already do. Also we are keeping on with sounds.
Tomorrow I have to go to town and try and sort something out that needs both our signatures. I am going to have to explain he can't speak or write his normal signature, so what is the procedure? I have already had one argument on the phone with another company to do with something else and they insisted they wouldn't speak to me about it, even though I explained the situation (this was about 2 weeks after the stroke) and the upshot was I lost my temper and asked what they didn't understand about can't speak or write? They said they would write to him and ask his permission to discuss it with me, he would just have to sign or make a mark - told them to do that despite the fact he couldn't write so we would get nowhere. In the end I was passed to the manager/supervisor who decided they would talk to me about it! This is another thing you never think about in everyday life. Anyway will see how this goes tomorrow, but at least they will discuss it with me!
So, another day gone, no physio or speech therapy tomorrow - just us doing exercises.

Sunday again.

We had a better night last night although we were still awake for a while and making tea at about 2.00am. But then went back to sleep after about an hour - much better!!
I am still trying to sort out how I really feel - am I sorry for Pete, am I sorry for myself or am I just sorry about the whole thing? Probably a bit of all three, but am trying to get more positive. The trouble with Sundays seems to be that come the afternoon, after a big lunch, I just want to relax but Pete doesn't seem to want to do anything, and there is nothing to watch on the tv. As I have said before I hate it when he just sits there either staring into space or staring at the floor, I feel I really have to do something with him. He doesn't want to listen to music or play on the iPad so it has to be exercises or something to pass the time. He would normally have either put music on, gone outside to do something or read the paper or a book or played on Angry Birds, but now he either doesn't want to do those things or can't. Or we would have put a DVD on but we are limited as to what he can watch - nothing complicated, although that is getting better. Anyway enough of moaning!!
We have done more sounds again today - no new ones but he is finding it easier to say the sounds we have tried already. He tends to get quite tense and try too hard, I have to keep telling him to relax and then he is better. He has also mastered a couple more of the mouth exercises on the iPad app which is encouraging.
Pete did indicate the cupboard where our Christmas decorations are and then looked up at the ceiling today. I got it that he thought about putting decorations up, but we have agreed it will be done next weekend - I always think 2 weeks before Christmas is plenty early enough!! Pete has always put up loads of decorations, many pinned to the ceiling, and a very good job he has always made of it, but probably this year they won't be so elaborate as I am not as good as him. It is probably the artistic side of him coming out!! Anyway, we will see how it goes next weekend!!
We are watching a programme about Aliens at the moment, and very interesting it is - makes you think. Pete does enjoy documentaries - as long as they aren't too sad which brings on the tears!!
Then it is the ghost story about Crickley Hall which he has followed very well so far even though it flashes back in time. A few weeks ago he would have been absolutely lost trying to follow that - so perhaps the CSI programmes may be back on the menu soon!!
And the rain is back today!

Making Sounds

We had an extremely bad night last night, with both of us awake for hours and both getting very upset and emotional. After all that Pete eventually fell asleep but I was still awake trying to make sense of how I really feel. I don't know why, but I thought of my mum and how much I miss her, especially now. She would tell me that this is what life has dished out to us and it is no good feeling sorry for ourselves we just have to do our best and get on with it. I thought about what would be my one wish in this situation, and the answer is that if Pete could just get one word out I would feel so much better. It would give us such a lift. So I determined that we will practice sounds as much as we could, just a few minutes at a time every day. It may be the wrong thing to do, to try and force the issue, but I am going to go down that road - and tough if the experts disagree!!
With this is mind we have had two separate sessions of trying to make different sounds and Pete seems quite happy to do this. He can do 'mu' and 'Lu' (as in much or lurch) and we are going on to 'eee' and 'I', then put together to get me, my, lie. We have actually been quite successful just on these few sounds. Then I think we will move on to 'o' and 'ah', and go on from there. I am convinced that if he can start to make the beginnings of words we will both be much happier. We really need to start and take a few more tiny steps as this week hasn't been the best.
This afternoon was another visit to the dentist for the final try for new dentures, we now have just one appointment left, in two weeks time, for collection of finished product!! Just in time for Christmas.
Whilst we were in the dentist Martin did a tesco shop for me, so no need for online order at the moment (phew!!) then it was on to Argos to get a couple of presents.
So, all in all, I feel a bit better and more determined today. Surely it is time for us to have a couple of happier days - I surely hope so. (thanks mum for the words of wisdom!! Miss you so.)