In Limbo

We don't seem to be getting anywhere at the moment.  Pete is spending most of his time now sitting on the bed with his legs up.  I don't know what is going on in his head as he doesn't go to sleep or watch the television during the day (he does have it on in the evening) and just seems to be sitting there staring into space.  I don't think this is doing him any good but I can't really get him interested in doing anything, although today he has played some games on the ipad for about an hour.  He seems to be quite content with this way of life, just coming through for meals basically.  On the other hand he is not complaining too much of pain, only a dull ache down his right side but, I'm thinking, this could be due to him not exercising.  So, yet again, I ask myself the question 'what to do' and, yet again, the answer is 'I don't know'.  I have offered him antidepressants again but he is still adamant he doesn't want them.  I will be quite interested to see what he says to the psychologist, but that isn't until Friday.

I have to book the catheter removal trial again but am a bit dubious about whether he can do it in his present state of mind.

It is Pete's birthday tomorrow and he will be 63 - so young really to have his life changed so much and everything taken away from him.  I have seen a couple of items on the local and national news recently about people who have had massive strokes which have changed their lives - for the better!!!  I am getting quite bitter and twisted about it all as they say they had major strokes which have left them with a bit of weakness on their left side but it has changed their outlook on life - yes, they could both speak fluently and talk about it.  All strokes are bad news, but they have different results and when someone tells you they have had a massive stroke but recovered, I tend to think 'you don't actually know what a MASSIVE stroke is' - I'm probably wrong and I'm not trying to denigrate anyone else's suffering but, hey, a massive stroke leaves you pretty well isolated and totally dependent on others, not thinking your life has changed for the better.  I still so wish I could just contact someone else who is in the same situation as we are.  If there is anyone else out there who wants to contact me, my email address is shirleypdutt@gmail.com  please feel free to use it.

Last night was a Lovely Ladies night again.  As usual I really enjoyed it and had a good gossip and laugh - I think I live for these get togethers as it means two or three hours away from it all and that is such a relief, especially at the moment.  

Tomorrow is the start of another week again - wonder what it will bring?