Crisis Point

Last week ended on a high - the ultrasound didn't show up anything to be concerned about, the hospital rang with an appointment for a Cystoscopy in October and a Catheter Removal Trial today. So far so good.  I felt really sick and ill Friday night and decided it was reaction to everything that had gone on but now seemed to be going forward.  Saturday dawned, the nurse came to change Pete's catheter now that he was on antibiotics after the infection, but decided to leave it as it was coming out today anyway.  Again, so far so good.  Then Hell came knocking again on Saturday afternoon - without going into a long convoluted story I will just say unbearable pain was involved, I just crumbled, couldn't cope and was basically a train wreck. I tried to get a Nursing Home but you can't go in as emergency admission unless a doctor or social worker is involved (fair enough really) - so no joy there.  I would have very happily waved Pete off at that point. 

Monday morning I rang the district nurses to request a catheter change and then just broke down to them completely - said I couldn't do it any more.  She said she would make phone calls and get respite and ring back.  When she rang back she had referred us as a priority to the duty social worker and had also seen that our GP had us down for a visit anyway following the hospital discharge a couple of weeks ago.  He rang about 12 noon (please note, just a foible of mine, but there is no such time as 12am or 12pm - it is 12 noon or midnight!  Just saying!!) not knowing what was going on so I told him and he said he would contact the microbiologist and then be up.  He arrived, on a push bike, about 20 minutes later! He examined and talked to Pete, decided he needed an antibiotic injection and a catheter change at the same time and he would also prescribe a morphine based liquid painkiller to be taken alongside his normal painkillers.  He would immediately go back to surgery and get the prescription done and get it faxed to pharmacy.  Would be available for collection in an hour.  Wrong!  Again, to cut a long story short, Mel and Martin eventually, after phone calls, got the painkiller at about 5.30pm, just before they closed.  This, I hasten to add, was not the GPs fault.  They did not have the stuff for the injection and would have to order it in, would be available early this afternoon.  I picked it up today so the nurse will be in tomorrow to administer it (thought I might have a go, but decided perhaps not!!) and do the catheter change.  Meanwhile I have started Pete on the new liquid and it seems to be doing the trick, he is much happier today.  Only problem is that he seems to be getting really fond of it!!!   

Somewhere along the line yesterday the social worker rang and, after talking to him and explaining doc had been and crisis point had passed, he arranged to visit us tomorrow - hopefully to tell me what to do if I get to that point again and also to discuss any help available.

I am not proud of myself for wanting someone to take Pete away and am eternally grateful that we survived that point and came out the other side.  It is impossible to describe my feelings at the time and no-one can really understand unless they have lived it - and plenty of people have I know - but you get really really desperate and consider the unthinkable options available.

So, I would never have thought we would need a social worker in our lives!  Who would have thunk it!!! 

But we do need one.  

I am not going to say we have turned a corner because I just know there is something bad around the corner - there always is at the moment.  Sorry, but I am being a pessimist, I can't help it, nothing is easy and what should be straight forward turns in a fight for us.  

That's it for today. Goodnight all. (Dixon of Dock Green - anyone remember that?!?!)