Comparisons

There isn't really much to report on the last few days!  We are just trundling along at the moment dealing with Pete's heel and mood.  His heel seems to be healing slowly but surely, he takes the full wack of painkillers every day but is not complaining too much.  As for his mood, I thought perhaps he is a little bit happier but he says no!  So not too sure whether the antidepressants are kicking in or not, will have to wait and see how it goes.

On a completely different note, I have decided I am wallowing a bit too much in self- pity at the moment!!  As I have said before I find it hard at times and also feel quite lonely at times.  Today I read an article in the paper about loneliness and how some people (carers mostly) can feel isolated and lonely even though there is someone else in the house.  Having read it with great interest I now realise one of the worst things is caring for a partner who has Alzheimer's,  they are still there physically and look no different, but they are not the person they were emotionally.  They probably don't need much medical attention, so you are very much on your own.  Whereas with Pete, although his anger is something new, he is still very much the same person and fully alert mentally.  The very worst thing is that he can't talk to me and this is difficult but we sort of manage just by asking questions requiring a yes or no answer, but I really miss just having a general conversation about any random subject.  This is now totally impossible and part of what makes me feel lonely.  

Having read the article and comparing lots of different situations, it has made me realise we are not in the worst situation possible.  I also am so thankful he is still here with me (although he drives me mad at times).  People who lose their partners, either physically or emotionally, are the ones who deserve sympathy and know the true feeling of loneliness.

Anyway, there are many levels of loneliness and there is no doubt that I feel it at times, but it is something that we have to live with and deal with - at least I don't feel it for 24 hours a day every day.