Feeling Good!

Today is the third day of calm and serenity - and I love it! We are both feeling so much better and relaxed and enjoying being together.
This morning we had a lie in then, after breakfast, went outside for a walk. The wind was still strong but the sun was shining so out we went. The wind can put Pete off balance very easily but this morning he coped well and just stood still until he was ready to move again. It is just a case of getting the feel of the strength of it and the direction and counteracting it with his body. Sounds stupid, another thing we do without thinking but he has to really think and then make the decision of which way to lean in order not to go over. Sudden gusts can be his downfall. Being stuck in the house for days on end isn't the best thing - just getting fresh air makes you feel better - and when the sun is shining you want to be out. The garden is showing lots of signs of springing back to life, there are now 3 snowdrops, and everything is popping out new shoots. The daffodils are growing fast and hopefully will be in flower for 1st March, St. David's Day, which is important to Pete as he is welsh having grown up in Cardiff. The Japonica outside our front door is well in flower now - a beautiful shade of pink which is a welcome splash of colour.
After his walk Pete got the clay out again and has started on a dolphin - he hasn't finished anything yet, but he always has worked on a few pieces at a time. Whilst he was doing that it gave me a chance to catch up on cleaning!
Exercises this afternoon but no step overs today, just plenty of walking around. He uses the normal stick occasionally but mostly still the quad stick. The main reason for this choice is that if he stops to do something it doesn't fall over and he doesn't have to find somewhere to put it. I hope they let him keep both.
After exercises I put the new toggles on his shoe laces, they are the ones you find on backpacks so lock into place. He found it a bit tricky to get them right down tight but did it, and then the excess lace just tucks into his shoe. He will soon find it easy to do, just practice. I find it quite difficult not to jump in and do things for him if he struggles, but know that I have to control myself and let him do it somehow, and he almost always manages. The worst one is watching him fill the hot water bottle for his foot!! But so far so good - no accidents! I usually ask if he wants a hand (how tactful is that???) and the answer is always no.
No sleeping tablet tonight as he has had his quota for the week until Saturday, so probably a less settled night tonight, but no matter as we are both feeling good!

Peace Continues

I really don't want to tempt fate, but, following several very angry upsetting days, Pete has again been very calm and serene today. Over the last few days he has just seemed to be very angry nearly all the time. This culminated with a row on Monday night when I told him I was finding it very hard to handle the continual anger he was showing. It seemed every time I spoke to him it set him off into another rage. I totally understand he hasn't as much control over his emotions and that, if life is hard for me, it is so much worse for him. But all I ask is that he just stops a few seconds to consider the situation. This seems to have worked. For the moment at least.
Suzanne and Claire came this afternoon for physio. I told them that we hadn't done much over the last few days as Pete had been out of sorts. I think disappointment over the Botox has played a large part. Although it has been dry and sunny today, the wind has been strong again so Pete decided he didn't want to go outside. Instead he opted to go through the normal routine of exercises. Suzanne had a long chat with him about his communication problems and how he is feeling - as she said, she can have a conversation with him and thinks he is doing well. After doing the bed exercises she asked him to walk up and down the hall without his stick, which he did but not as confident as he has been walking round the sofa. Suzanne was holding his pelvis just for support but I think Pete finds it much easier if no-one is too close, yes hovering is fine, but he prefers to not have someone holding him - I think he finds it easier to balance on his own. He doesn't like me walking behind him, I always have to go first - just one of his foibles!!
Pete had sleeping tablets on Saturday night, Sunday night and last night - they do seem to work on the whole but it is definitely not guaranteed for some reason!
And that is it for today, fingers crossed that the calm continues.

Aphasia Group

The initial meeting of the Aphasia Group happened today - or not!!! Bev took us to the meeting but unfortunately the only people there were us, Jane (the organiser), a gentleman called Bob and another gentleman who has Parkinson's disease (he is a friend of Bob so I'm not really sure what he was doing there) and 2 other speech therapists. As only the people with Aphasia will be attending the next meeting in two weeks, that means Jane, Pete and Bob! They had been expecting 3 others to come but one has moved away, another wouldn't come because of the weather and the third had fallen out of her wheelchair. The weather was really atrocious, gale force wind and lashing rain - I had to really hold onto Pete in the wind as he was just using his stick and the wind was so strong. Anyway, the meeting was held in a pub and went off alright, but I'm not so sure about the future ones. Both Bob and Jane have speech which rather leaves Pete out of it. Jane said that really they all meet just to let each other talk, one at a time, about anything they want. This is obviously not going to work for Pete as when they asked his name he really tried so hard to say it, but nothing came. We have talked about the next meeting since we got home and I know he doesn't really want to go to another meeting - and I can fully understand why not. Personally, I think he should probably go, just to see how he gets on, but I am not going to force him by any means. We will continue to discuss it and see how he feels over the next couple of weeks, then make the decision.
My main disappointment is that no other carers were there - I really thought this was my opportunity to make contact with some and be able to chat about our situations and how we deal with problems. But that opportunity has now gone - so it seems carers really do want to be on their own. Unfortunately I am the exception in that I want to meet, or even just know about, other carers. (the other two that didn't come were coming with speech therapists). So there we are, it is indeed a very isolated position I find myself in.
On the other hand, we have had a very serene day today in that we haven't crossed swords at all.
Pete has been quite calm today with no angry episodes.
On the whole, a quite disappointing day for both of us - Pete hoping to meet others just like him and me hoping to meet other carers.

Eye Test

We duly attended the hospital at 9am - you would think we wouldn't have to wait long having an early appointment, but no we still had to wait 20 minutes! Then when we went in to the first test it just didn't work at all. They were not aware Pete had no speech so then had to go off to get a special chart - Pete had to look into a mirror whilst the girl pointed to letters and then he had to use his chart to point them out, for some reason he couldn't grasp the concept of this, so off she went to talk to someone (who?). That test was abandoned and off we went to another room which went better - Pete had to look into a machine and press a button when he saw an orange light, I think this worked fairly well although the girl did say, a couple of times, to only press the button when he saw the light (obviously he was pressing it when the light wasn't on at times). Then on to another room where an Optometrist (I think that's right) had a booklet and Pete was given a chart to hold and then she pointed to letters and asked Pete to point to the same ones - yes, he surely can hold a chart and point at the same time!! So I took over holding the chart for him. This test then went off superbly, he got it right every time. Then on to see the consultant, who was very nice, but again did not know he had no speech and only the use of one arm. He asked Pete to cover one eye and then tell him how many fingers he was holding up - ????? So we decided I would cover his eye and then Pete would hold up the same number of fingers. Again this worked and he got it right every time. However, the outcome was that, although Pete is within the distance requirements for driving, some other part isn't. I'm not sure which. This may or may not improve, we have to wait and see and then go to an Optician for any further tests. Pete wants to do this straight away, but my feeling is that we should wait a few months (he certainly couldn't drive yet anyway) so I will probably have to make up some story to delay him a while.
This decision has, of course, upset Pete and the rest of the day has been a bit tense.
Our communication problems seem to be getting worse. After a day when he filled a hot water bottle himself and also wrote a word - his brain seems to have packed up again. Not even a first letter can be written at the moment and, if I don't understand him straight away, he gets very cross which makes me cross - a vicious circle unfortunately. It seems very hard at the moment. No day passes without tension at some point.
Well, tomorrow it is the first meeting of the Aphasia Group. I'm quite nervous about it and how it will go - but it will probably be fine, I hope so.

Mundane Day

A good night for sleep last night - courtesy of a sleeping tablet!! Pete went straight off to sleep and only woke a couple of times to go to the bathroom, but then went straight back to sleep. I'm not sure whether he will have one tonight as we have to be up fairly early for a hospital appointment at 9am and I don't really fancy him trying to doze off in the middle of it!! It is an appointment with the Ophthalmologist to test his range of peripheral vision - I have no idea how they are going to do it when he has no speech! It was arranged by Bev (speech therapist) after we had been talking about Pete driving again as, obviously, peripheral vision is very important but apparently it can be affected by a stroke.
Today has been a pretty mundane sort of day. Pete is definitely still out of sorts at times and has been quite restless today, up and down off the sofa like a yo-yo. This morning he steam cleaned the bedroom carpet, I only did the last little bit.
We haven't had any more words written and Pete has had problems with first letters again, but I still see last night as a good sign.
Other than that there is nothing else to talk about, so I will say goodnight and tomorrow I will tell you how they do the eye test! I am very interested to know!!

Better

After yesterday being so bad, it has been slightly better today. I don't know why we were so angry with each other as, in actual fact, Pete did have a day when he made a bit of progress.
We had decided on Thursday that we would move the speakers (which didn't happen) and also steam clean the carpet in the living room. As usual this had been something Pete did and I didn't know how to work the machine! Pete insisted he knew and yes he did, but it was still hard trying to understand what instructions he was giving me. Anyway, once it was up and running I made a start but then Pete took over and he found it quite easy to use it, he just took a step at a time and, as his balance is quite good, he could manoeuvre it. So, next step is the Hoover!
This afternoon Pete came through with a hot water bottle which he had done himself! Since having the bottle on his foot at night I think he realises it is more comfortable to have his foot warm, so if he is going to sit for a while he puts his foot on it. I struggled all afternoon to think how he could possibly have filled a bottle from the kettle with only one hand - nigh on impossible I would have said. Eventually he took me into the kitchen and demonstrated!! He clamped the bottle between his stomach and the work top and then used his left hand to pour in the water. Yes, this could be a bit on the dodgy side, but he had worked out how to do it, so all credit to him. But he does need a steady hand!!!
Tonight we have had FaceTime with Adrian and Amie which has cheered Pete up no end, caught up on all the news.
Now, this next bit is probably not for the squeamish, but I have to tell you about it!!! Pete has had a bit of constipation and took a tablet for it today. Just now he went off and came back all smiles! He obviously wanted to tell me something but I couldn't get it (as usual) and asked if he could write the first letter to give me a clue - he wrote P (you know what's coming!) but I still wasn't understanding, and then he added oo - poo!!! Oh my God, his first actual word!! I am so pleased, it may be a long time before he writes another word, but as we are still struggling with writing the first letter this is amazing, a real breakthrough.
So a fantastic end to today, I hope tomorrow continues in the same way.

Cliches for today!

Down .... And out, On the Road to Hell, Life is a Bitch, Banging your Head against a Brick Wall.
All of the above.
Goodnight.

Sun Makes A Difference

Today dawned bright and sunny, cold, but sunshine makes such a difference. As usual we had a pretty disturbed night - I think I've just got to accept that as the norm now.
After doing all the normal morning chores I looked outside and the ground seemed pretty dry so we decided to just go outside and have a walk around. We are very lucky in that our flat is in a very large old house which has plenty of gardens to go around. We started off going all round our garden which has 4 flower beds which are separated by quite uneven crazy paving, after a couple of reminders to really lift his right knee Pete was fine and inspected all the beds, then went down some really dodgy old steps which lead onto the drive, up the sloping drive and along in front of the house, back to the drive and up some other steps and into the greenhouse and then he was going to go onto some grass but thought better of it as there are still remnants of frozen snow amongst it. Back down the steps and back into the house, it took about half an hour but did Pete a lot of good. Nothing like fresh air when you are mainly stuck in the house.
This evening Martin took us to get some speaker wire (Pete wants the speakers moved, something I am not looking forward to as I know I'm going to get it wrong and he will get very angry) and we decided not to take the wheelchair as you can park right outside the shop and it is very roomy and all on the level. Pete managed fine but it did make us realise he is not ready for the supermarket yet, there was nowhere to rest and he was struggling by the time we got back to the car. I think it makes a difference if he knows he can stop at any time, but when he knows he has no choice but to keep walking it must seem like miles left to go. When we were out in the hospital grounds he knew he could give up when he wanted as I had the wheelchair and this seemed to spur him on.
Pete has been a bit more cheerful today, not so sad as yesterday. I often wonder what he thinks of the whole situation, how he feels about not being able to go out where and when he wants, does he think I am too controlling as I mostly have to make any decisions. Does he feel he has lost control of his own life? Everybody else is basically running his life for him now - I can't imagine how he deals with this, it must be so hard for him.
Well tomorrow we will be moving the speakers so may have killed each other by the end of the day!!!! I used to tell him off before for not explaining things and just expecting me to know, so it will be even worse when he can't explain and just gets angry so fast!

Sad.

It is nearly 8.30pm and Pete has gone to bed, and he seems very sad for some reason. He says he is very tired but will he sleep? Last night he, at last, let me put a warm hot water bottle on his right foot and he has got one again tonight. Even with thick thermal socks his foot is still icy cold but I think the warm bottle on it in bed will help him sleep. Last night he says he didn't sleep well, but conversely, every time I woke up (and that was at least every hour) he was sound asleep. Also he kept his arm splint on all night whereas it usually comes off after half an hour, so either he dreamt he was awake a lot or I dreamt I was awake a lot!! He didn't seem very happy first thing this morning either. These are times I feel so hopeless, I don't know what is the matter and he just keeps saying he is alright and I can't just keep on and on asking the same questions over and over so we get to stalemate where he says he is ok but I know he isn't. We did have quite a bit of snow - real snow - this morning and this grabbed his attention and he cheered up a bit for a while as the garden and trees got whiter and more beautiful. (two photos of our garden).
Bev managed to get here for speech therapy and I think that was alright, she seemed quite happy how it went with just the two of them. I entertained myself doing the ironing, changing the bed sheets and doing some hand washing, then I read my book for a while.
By the time Suzanne and Claire came this afternoon the snow was melting away, but still too slippery to go out and, of course, the ground was really wet. They did stretches on Pete's arm, but the Botox definitely hasn't worked as well this time as his wrist and hand are still tight and painful. Then they did bouncing etc on the gym ball and then step overs in the kitchen. Suzanne then talked about future challenges she is planning. More walking outside and also perhaps meet them in town and a walk around there with people, pushchairs, etc. Walking up and down the hill a bit, basically she wants him to walk rather than use the wheelchair when we are out. So probably next time we go to a supermarket he will have to walk around - could be time consuming!! When we can't go out they are going to do floor mobility! This is him getting down onto the floor and then getting up again, and also if he goes down somewhere where there isn't anything stable enough to pull himself up with then getting him to crawl or somehow get to something stable. I am pleased they are going to do this as it is a worry if he falls when I'm not here. All the routine leg exercises are going to be done with me in the future so they can concentrate on the new challenges.
Well, it is now nearly 9pm and Pete is up again and back in the sitting room!!
I hope he will be a bit more cheerful tomorrow as it is hard when he is sad, not being able to discuss why.

What to Write!

What shall I write today then? I'll start with last night - Pete took his sleeping tablet at 9pm with the thought that by 10pm he would be ready to go to bed and straight to sleep. I told him that was too early and, sure enough, by 10 he could hardly get up off the sofa!!! I had to haul him up and then help him take a few steps then rush off and get the wheelchair to push him to the bedroom as he would never have got there on his own. Then after helping him get undressed and into bed he was asleep almost straight away. (this all reminded me of when he first came home and needed all this help - he has come so far since then.) I settled down to a good night but it was not to be! The light went on and off a couple of times and then on for ages at 2.30am so a cup of tea was back on the agenda. After that he did go straight back to sleep - this was all after taking a whole tablet so I'm not sure why it didn't work as usual. Anyway he has now had his 4 tablets for this week so I suppose that tonight we go back to hardly any sleep.
This morning I went off to catch the bus and walked through the hospital grounds - as I walked through I was trying to work out whether I could take Pete for a walk there on my own, but have decided the answer is probably not yet, hopefully in the near future it will be possible. Today has again been bitterly cold but also very damp and the ground is wet and slippery so couldn't go out today with him anyway. But, in the meantime, he is doing lots of walking in the house, round and round, but it all helps build up his stamina.
We have done full exercises, ending with step overs which he is getting very good at, sometimes leading with his right foot and sometimes with his left. I still remember the physios saying good foot first to go up (up to heaven, good) and bad foot first to go down (down to hell, bad) but now Pete seems to interchange his leading foot depending on where he is.
Tomorrow will be the first speech therapy session with just Pete and Bev, I am looking forward to this as will have a bit of time on my own. We will also have to make arrangements for getting to the meeting for people with aphasia next Tuesday. Then in the afternoon it is Suzanne and Claire again and, depending on the weather, maybe another adventure outside!
As I came past the garden today I noticed there are lots of daffodils coming through but have only managed to find one solitary snowdrop which is sad as usually there are quite a few, the rest must have been finished off by all the wet weather. But daffodils are a good sign of Spring being not too far away. Meanwhile, lots of snow warnings out but not for here - we are going to get rain!!! Again!!!

Marathon, FES and Snow!!

Today has been quite a decisive day. Firstly, Pete decided he really has had enough of the FES, he is not happy positioning the pads and using it, so today it was handed back to Suzanne and has now left the building!! Suzanne was quite happy as she said it is no good using it if you don't feel any benefit from it, but, if at any time, Pete feels he would like another try then she would be happy to bring it back. Also Pete had stopped taking the muscle relaxant tablet but Suzanne could feel that his muscles weren't so good so asked if he was taking them, he did admit he wasn't so she advised that he should take them and then discuss how he feels with the Botox consultant (he is actually a Consultant Neurologist) at his next appointment in April. As she said, she can't force him to take them but advises he should - no sooner was she out the door than he decided to take one!! He really listens to her and not to me as I had already told him he should take them. After the Botox Pete's arm felt quite different and looser but not much more has happened over the last few days so not too much stretching was done today.
However ..... Pete did go outside with Suzanne and Claire and walked what was, for him, an absolute marathon!! He got in the wheelchair and was pushed down the drive and across the road into the hospital grounds. Then he had to get out and step up the kerb, walk down the pavement, step down the kerb and walk along what is effectively a very potholed and uneven road/track. Claire was holding his right arm (for a bit of balance and to make him feel safe), Suzanne was hovering behind him and I brought up the rear with an empty wheelchair to take him back home in when he had had enough. But, to the amazement of us all, he just kept on going and going and going! They took him along some uneven paths, up a very steep slope, up and down more kerbs, up another fairly steep slope, across the road and back up our drive which, again, is quite a steep slope. He hesitated a couple of times but once he got back into the rhythm he was absolutely fantastic!! None of us could believe the distance he had done and how well he had negotiated all the obstacles he faced. It has been a dry day and quite bright although bitterly cold which were probably ideal conditions for him as he didn't get too hot with the effort he had to make. After all that, I fully expected him to fall asleep this afternoon but, no, we did his normal leg exercises, then he did his walking up and down the hall and then, this evening, he has again been going round the sofa with no stick at all. He is very determined that he will be able to walk distances, it is slow but that doesn't matter. Pete is, indeed, a man on a mission!!!
Finally today, some photos of Martin, the kids and Mimi the dachshund enjoying the snow yesterday. Just looking at children in the snow is a real tonic!!

Sleeping and Walking - but not at the same time!!

No post yesterday because I went out last night with the Lovely Ladies. Our ages are 25 (26 this week), 32 (33 in February), 40 (41 this week) and last of all me at 59 (60 in April) and we all get on so well despite the wide age range! We go and have a meal with a couple of drinks and don't stop talking! These evenings truly keep me going and I am already looking forward to the next one! At times like these you find who your true friends are - and these three are THE BEST.
So, enough about me, apart from saying I feel re-energised today.
Pete had one of the sleeping tablets Friday night (yes, a whole one as anticipated, but I didn't argue) and had a really good night - so did I!! He said he got up to go to the bathroom but I didn't hear him which is very unusual, I think I was more relaxed and not worried about him being awake and so went out like a light. He said he went straight back to sleep when he got back in bed so all good. He was a bit zombiefied yesterday morning, but not badly so. The decision was made that he would have half a tablet last night, which he did, but at some point he went and took the other half - addicted already!!! So that's 2 so far this week and he is allowed 4 which may be a problem in the days to come, but we will cross that bridge when we come to it.
Pete has done his walking today, but no exercises - just because we are lazy!! But tonight he got up with his walking stick and then put it down and went off without it!! Whoa, he's not supposed to do that! I launched myself off the sofa to get behind him in case he went down, but he walked around the other sofa three times and only wobbled once. Excellent, but he better not do that on his own! I don't know what made him suddenly do that as its not been mentioned other than something to aim for in the distant future. Also tonight he stood on my foot with his right foot, the problem then was that he can't move that foot quickly - so ow, ow ,ow!!
The snow here has all gone but today Martin and Mel took the kids to a steep hill about 5 miles outside Barnstaple and found loads of snow to go sledging on - I can hardly believe it is so deep out there when there is nothing here!! There isn't any more forecast for us this week, it's just going to be cold and cloudy, then warming up next weekend - so bikinis out for that then! The weather just changes so fast.
Start of another week tomorrow, I hope it goes ok for us.

No, Yes, No!

Well, the heavy snow forecast for Barnstaple turned out to be somewhat of a non-event!! We did have a shallow covering of snow but not much at all. Nothing on the trees, etc. I am sure there were many disappointed children's faces when the curtains were pulled back this morning. At least I didn't need my Wellies or information on the local radio - I knew that if I was prepared it wouldn't happen!! I went into town with no problems and got the long awaited sleeping tablets, now I am very nervous about Pete using them. He can take half or one tablet just before bed for no more than 4 days a week as they are addictive, and he doesn't seem too impressed with only half a tablet so I think he is going to insist on a whole one - stormy waters tonight then!!!
No FES today but plenty of exercises done. Pete is trying to make an extra effort to bend his right knee when walking in order to lift his foot higher and if he concentrates it works well. He definitely prefers the brace whatever he says to Suzanne.
We have been having some very confusing conversations in the past with Pete seemingly not really understanding my questions. The best way to explain it is to give 2 examples:
Me -" do you want sausages for tea?" Pete shakes his head "no", me- "you don't want sausages for tea?" Pete nods his head "yes", me- "you want sausages for tea?" Pete shakes his head "no", At which point I get confused.
Me- "is your arm aching?" Pete shakes his head "no", me- " your arm isn't aching?", Pete nods his head "yes", Me- "your arm is aching?" Pete shakes his head "no". Confusion again!! It has taken me all this time to realise when he nods his head "yes" he is agreeing with me, ie yes he doesn't want sausages and yes his arm isn't aching - he takes what I am saying literally which isn't the normal reply when using speech. Now I have cottoned on to this I realise that it is me that is confusing the issue and have also had to explain this confusion to Bev. I hope you understand what I am saying - Pete will listen carefully and give the actual correct response! It took a while for Bev to understand what I was explaining so I don't think this is very common. But now that we have got onto the same track it is much better.
I am really looking forward to tomorrow evening when it is out with the girls for a meal and a drink (or two) and a chat whilst Martin stays with Pete.

Snow!!

It has been a very relaxing day today. Pete put the FES on at about 10am but took it off about an hour later having been unable to find the right spots. I can't make out what the problem is as he gets quite angry about it, won't let me put the pads on and so I'm not sure if it is the strength of the signal that is the problem or what. But he puts the brace on and that's ok. I forgot to mention yesterday that Jane (from Connect) uses a toggle on her shoe laces which she just moves up and down to get the right tension and then tucks the length of the laces in the side of the shoe. She is going to get some for Pete as they look better than the elastic laces - it is just going to be a case of finding which one he finds easiest.
I think I have managed to get a sleeping tablet prescription for Pete at long last. Not from his own GP I hasten to add! Having rung the surgery and they checked his notes - absolutely nothing documented about the Community Rehab Nurse - they then asked another Dr. to ring me back. She was very pleasant and has faxed a prescription through to the pharmacy. She has advised to take about 4 a week and just try to break the cycle, and then ring his own Dr. If that doesn't work. Pete's GP is away now until next Tuesday. I really can't get over how he is just totally ignoring us.
I can go to the pharmacy in town tomorrow and pick up the tablets. That is if I can get there!! There is lots of snow forecast to come in tonight, so I am fully expecting to have to walk to town tomorrow. I have got my Wellies ready and also have tuned the radio into Radio Devon so that I can just turn it on in the morning and find out about roads closed and whether buses are running or not. Having got myself totally prepared we probably won't even see one snowflake - sods law!!!
And that is it for today. Hope nobody gets too inconvenienced by any snow, but it does sound like it is going to be bad all over the country.

Botox magic and an Amazing Lady!

This post may ramble on a bit - so be warned!!!
Pete had his Botox at 5pm yesterday and it usually takes a couple of days to start to work, but this morning I thought his hand seemed more relaxed and looser but thought it was just wishful thinking. However, when Suzanne came (at 10am this morning) she said she could definitely feel a difference and also Pete wasn't flinching like he has been. So, it has started working its magic already, and the muscles will continue to loosen over the next few days. Also Pete hasn't had the pain in his arm and hasn't taken any pain killers today. All good!! After all the usual exercises Suzanne said she wants now to take Pete outside to tackle kerbs (spelling?) and steps and slopes. We have to wait for a dry day with no ice or anything, but that is now on the horizon, hopefully next week. I am also hoping she will get Pete to turn the wheel on the w/chair himself, which, so far, he hasn't been doing, much preferring to use his left foot to pull it along!! We have also had to blow the gym ball up a bit as it had got a bit soft due to all the bouncing!! The FES has had a full day's use today - it takes several tries to get the pads in the right place but then he is away. Claire suggested tattoos to mark the spot!! Maybe - or not!!
After Physio we awaited the arrival of Bev and Jane who is the lady from Connect who is going to run the aphasia groups. What an amazing lady she is - so nice, but will stand no nonsense I think!
She had a stroke 11 years ago, right side affected, severe aphasia. It was a year before her speech returned, which gives me much hope for Pete. Then after 18 months she started driving again. Her speech is really good but she says it is still improving now. The aphasia group will be meeting fortnightly probably and they think there will be about 6 people there, but really don't know. It sounds like a nice number to me. Carers will not be welcome to stay!! This is because the people there will have to push themselves to communicate - but as they all are either in the same boat or have been there, they will fully understand how each other feel. I do admit that this worries me a bit, will he be ok without me? It is a bit like leaving children at school for the first time, will they be alright, will they make friends, will anyone be horrible to them, will they want to cry, how will they manage? Bonkers I know to feel like that, he is a fully grown man for goodness sake, but I can't help it. Pete often looks to me to answer a question if he can't, and this has to stop!! Bev and I have agreed that I won't stay for all of his sessions in future in order that Pete has to communicate with her on a one to one basis. Jane talked to Pete about her stroke and how she has progressed - it had taken a long time, but her advice is to never look back, keep looking forward and strive to do things and it will happen slowly but surely. She can do everything now with her left hand and doesn't even think about it.
So, all in all, an interesting day.

Botoxed!

After waiting an hour this afternoon Pete got his Botox injections - much to his relief as his arm has been really painful, so this should alleviate it in the next few days. The consultant apologised for keeping us waiting so long and then had a rant about how they had double booked him all day! Said he will be having something to say about it and it shouldn't happen again. So felt much friendlier towards him then!! Anyway, it is ten and a half weeks since Pete's last injections and his muscles have really tightened in the last 2/3 weeks so he was given a higher dose in the hope it will last longer. He had 3 injections like last time in the same muscles.
We did letters and sounds again today. Pete wrote the letters and then I asked him to point to the correct letter as I made the sounds, this wasn't a problem for him, but then I asked him to write the letter when I said the sound - big problem! It's really odd that he can't write the sounds but can point to them if they are already there. He then gets quite confused about the whole thing. So lots more work to do on that.
Exercises were basic today as Pete's arm is bad and he is dosed up on paracetamol!! We only did the ones on the bed with his lower leg. Nothing else, but he has done some walking and also has had the FES on for a few hours.
Nothing from the GP, surprise, surprise! So will ring him tomorrow.
The weather forecast for this weekend coming is for lots of snow in this part of the country. I hope it isn't too much as everything grinds to a halt with the first snowflake, and I have an optician appointment on Friday and hoping to go out Saturday if the rest of the girls can make it. So fingers crossed everyone - I feel I am ready for an evening of the girls and gossip!!
Tomorrow we have physio followed by a visit from the lady from Connect and the speech therapist, so a busy day.
Is anyone watching Winterwatch on the tv? We are really enjoying it.

24 Hours On

After one of the worst days yesterday, today dawned a lot brighter! When Pete has a shower, which obviously he needs help with, I can usually tell his mood depending on how much he disapproves of where I am aiming the water! Today it went well, so I knew his mood had changed from yesterday.
The community rehab nurse came, as promised, to do blood tests. One of the first things she said was "has the doctor contacted you?" my answer? A big fat NO! She has seen him and said about sleeping tablets and he said he would contact me. Really? As usual, not a squeak out of him, so she said leave it to mid week and then ring him. Also he is supposed to be taking over regular blood tests and blood pressure checks. So I don't hold out much hope about them but we are alright now for a couple of months, if I have to chase him again then will think very seriously about trying to get another GP to take Pete on. In the meantime, obviously I am going to have to ring him about sleeping tablets. Helpful isn't he?!?!
Pete did his walking stints today and then about half an hour before the physios were due he put the FES on! I told Suzanne we had done nothing yesterday but she was fine about it. Pete can be a fib pot when asked what he has been doing, she asked had he used the FES much - Pete nodded yes (fib no. 1), has he been walking a lot - Pete nodded yes (fib no. 2) and has he been wearing his splint - Pete nodded yes (fib no. 3), she also asked which he preferred, the FES or the ankle brace and he indicated the FES (big fib no.4 as he has told me several times he prefers the ankle brace)!! He is too anxious to please her, but unfortunately for him, I put her straight!! Susie has now moved on as they work in rotation and we have a new young lady called Claire, but she seems just as nice as the rest of them. They both put him through his exercises, he is doing really well bouncing on the gym ball, not as nervous of it now and no hesitation getting onto it. The physios are excellent in the way they instill confidence that Pete can and will do as they ask.
This afternoon we had a visit from the lovely Leanne and Amelia. Pete had been looking forward to this and he thoroughly enjoyed it - Amelia is gorgeous and was brilliant with us, not shy and no crying or moaning at having to entertain us!!! Pete was smitten I think. Lots of chat with Leanne, she has experience with stroke survivors being a professional carer, but also lots of personal chat. She has never come across the FES before, so not everyone gets them which was interesting.
Tomorrow is the second lot of Botox injections - Suzanne thinks he will probably give a higher dose as the first lot haven't lasted 3 months, I would say in the last 2 or 3 weeks Pete's arm and hand have been getting tighter and more painful, and we are back to square one now. But they definitely help to manage his arm and will continue for as long as they help, possibly years. So, roll on tomorrow!

Backwards we go

Some days are so bloody hard, and today was one. Pete is very impatient, very careless and has refused to do his walking or exercises, or indeed wear his splint. The sounds of letters recognition has gone and he was unable to go up some steps that he went up and down with very easily a few weeks ago. He won't wear the FES and is hardly lifting his right leg when walking. All signs that he is slipping backwards.
I won't be reading this out to him as Mr. Angry will visit and I really can't cope with that today.
Enough said.

Making Preparations

As I have to return to work in the next two months I have had to start to think about problems that need to be addressed. My main concern is what Pete is going to do to pass the hours I am away. I will be gone for 6 hours - luckily there is no travelling time involved as I work as a housekeeper at the local hospital which is, literally, 3 minutes walk away! That is from our front door to the main entrance! I get a 20 minute break and so can easily pop back home just to make sure all is well. But there is always the chance that he may fall or something may happen that needs me to be here. The community rehab nurse who visited last week mentioned we could get a home alarm where he just presses a button and someone will ring me. This sounds ideal but Pete is very much against that - I think the reason being that they are associated with the elderly and infirm and hang around the neck. That sounds an awful thing to say, but there it is. As fate would have it we had a catalogue through the post today from the firm I got the half step from, and in it is a large button mobile phone which has an emergency button which can be pre-programmed with a telephone number. This sounds like the answer as I can just put my mobile number into it and if he needs me he just presses this button and it will ring my phone. I will have to get permission to have my phone in my pocket at work, but I think this will be ok. (if not, I have a back up plan but, hopefully,won't need it!!) if Pete falls he should be able to get up ok providing he hasn't hurt himself.
Another problem is tying his shoe laces. Pete can't do this with one hand but needs lace up shoes in order to use the ankle brace, as the laces support a hook. In the same catalogue were elastic laces which, effectively, turn a lace up shoe into a slip on shoe as they don't need to be undone to get shoes on and off as they stretch. Again, sounds ideal - worth a try at the very least.
So, those two items have been ordered.
The other problem is carrying a cup of tea from the kitchen to the sitting room. Pete could sit in the kitchen to drink it but that isn't very relaxing. So, probably, I think the answer will be to put a kettle on the coffee table in the sitting room. He can put tea and sugar in the cup in the kitchen and carry it through like that and the milk is easily carried as it is in plastic bottles with handles. Alternatively I could fill a thermos with boiling water but that is never quite the same. Not an insurmountable problem though.
So, there it is, I think I have thought of the main problems and addressed them. No doubt more will occur to me as time goes on!!

Lazy Day

This is definitely going to be a short post as there is nothing to say today!!
This morning Mel and her dad called in, they both had hospital appointments and Mel waited here until her appointment time and her dad stayed a few minutes before going off to his appointment. As I think I have said before, Pete enjoys it when people come in. I had a lovely chat with Mel whilst Pete played angry birds on the iPad - but he was listening to what was being said! On Monday afternoon another young lady is coming with her little girl who about 9 months old (I think), and we are both very much looking forward to that. We have known her for a few years and when my mum lived with us she was her carer - she is a very caring person and has reassured me a few times that my feelings are normal. Pete hasn't seen her for probably about 2 years and when I said to him she was coming, it got the usual response now - tears!! Her daughter is an absolute cutie and I know Pete will so enjoy the visit.
We have done 15 minutes of letters and sounds, still concentrating on A, B, C and D. By the end of our sessions he has got the letters and sounds perfectly, but by the next day it has gone again but the time it takes to click back in again gets slightly shorter each day. Encouraging.
We have done no physio today! Mainly because we do it mostly in afternoons and Pete fell asleep after lunch today and slept until 3.30, I thought it was better to let him catch up on sleep than wake him for exercises. He has only done two sessions of walking, and has not had FES on today at all. But I don't think not doing everything he should is going to hurt too much.
The weathermen are talking snow and ice now but, thankfully, they are not forecasting very much at all down this way. That is just what we don't need at the moment as the narrow road to our place can get blocked and we have quite a bit on next week, visits, therapies and hospital appointment.
And that is it for today! Told you it would be shorter!

Health Check

The Community Rehab Nurse came today to give Pete a health check and to see how he is getting on. What a nice lady she was. She is very pleased with his progress and explained that progress will now be probably slower but will continue for years. She took his blood pressure which was up slightly but nothing she is worried about - as she said, just talking about his stroke will stress him a bit and send it up. She asked about depression which elicited a very firm head shake from Pete, so that it good. Then we got onto medication and so I had a bit of a moan about his GP as don't know about reviews, checks or anything. She checked in her book about the muscle relaxant tablets that he takes and apparently they can affect liver function and he should have blood tests to keep a check on that. She is so on the ball - the upshot of the visit is that she will go and see his GP and ask him about reviews, blood tests for liver and for Polycythemia (which he should have been having) and blood pressure checks, and also see if he will prescribe some sleeping tablets. She asked Pete about his sleeping and he got quite upset (it is becoming a real problem now) and so she realised something needs to be done to help him. She is coming back on Monday morning to take his blood for the tests and will tell us if she has managed to meet with the GP yet. Let's hope so.
Pete has started using FES again - he did 5 hours yesterday (so much for an hour a day to start with!!!) and has had it on since 5pm today. So far, so good, although he does keep moving the pads around trying to get the best position. I have found it is better to let him decide when to wear it, for how long and where to put the pads. We did the full exercise routine today, finishing with step overs in the kitchen which I haven't done with him before, but we managed fine.
Speech therapy - well, this is slow but I do believe we are taking teeny teeny tiny steps in getting the sounds of letters through. We have started using Noddy books which my mum and dad bought for the grandchildren years ago. Each book deals with one letter of the alphabet, gives a bit of a story using lots of words beginning with that letter, therefore we can emphasise the sound. It sounds a bit patronising to use children's books but they are brilliant, and there is no shame in it, whatever works I say. It also means it is not quite so tedious as just saying letters and sounds.
Well, Pete has just made a cup of tea for us and also heated himself up a pie in the oven! We have been to Lidl earlier and done a shop, and obviously that has made him a bit peckish and so he sorted that himself - at least he would never starve!! In Lidl I push Pete to the side with Robbie and Ella whilst I pay, so as I was putting change etc back in my purse I just walked right past him (he can move the wheelchair himself) and was very firmly asked by Ella 'what about Grandad?' and told to go back and push him!!! I suggested we leave him there - if looks could kill I would have dropped dead on the spot! So I did as I was told and pushed him out!!!

Self Absorbed and Selfish

Today I read that someone says Bloggers are self-absorbed people. Am I self-absorbed? I don't think so but perhaps I am not the one to judge, that's up to others. I may well be, but everyone is entitled to their opinion. As anyone who has read my blogs from last October will know, I started writing them mainly as a vent for my feelings, be they joy, sadness, depression, exhilaration and everything in between, this is MY therapy (so perhaps I am self-absorbed) and also in the hope I would get feedback from others in the same situation (that didn't work!). Two more reasons were to keep family and friends updated and so I wouldn't burst into tears and embarrass people who asked how it was going, and the final reason was I couldn't find anyone else blogging about caring for a stroke survivor. So, that is why I blog - judge for yourself.
Now being selfish is another matter entirely. I readily admit to being very selfish and, at times, quite resentful of what I have to do to help Pete recover some of his previous life style. Today I did opt out of the physio session and stayed in the living room, on my own, reading a book - it was a blissful 45 minutes when I didn't have to think about Pete as I knew he was being looked after and kept occupied by professionals and, therefore, would not claim my attention. I used to read voraciously but can't do that now and I do miss it. I feel very selfish when trying to do some therapy with Pete and it is not going well, I can lose my temper and patience with him - afterwards I can see that is wrong - what is it like for him trying to relearn stuff? But at the time - I just can't help myself. When I go to town to do shopping I feel selfish in that I can do that and he can't any more. I feel selfish in that I say I miss talking to him, again I'm only thinking of myself and not how it is for him. I feel selfish when rushing around trying to do something, knowing he can't be speedy any more. There are many, many more instances when I am only thinking of myself, too numerous to list. As I said, I really miss having time to myself to do what I want, when I want, for as long as I want. I am always conscious of where Pete is and what he is doing and usually worrying about him!!
But there, as they say, life is a bitch sometimes.
Well, I have done two wingey, whiney blogs on the trot now - I will try to do better tomorrow!! But I do feel better now for writing all that down! My reason for blogging works!!!

Speech and Language Therapy

Pete gets one session of SALT per week, lasting about an hour. For the rest of the days it is up to us to keep on at it on our own. As I have said, we are now trying to concentrate on letters and their sounds in order that eventually, hopefully, Pete will be able to write some words. It is going to be a long laborious task. Today Bev was writing 2 letters and then saying the letters and their sounds and getting him to point to the correct one, it takes several tries for him to distinguish which one is right - the big sticking point is the sounds. Pete is still not good at connecting them up which, I think, he is finding very depressing, as you would. It is hard enough trying to learn the English language without the fact that you did once know it all. It is very hard going for us both. Also, I find that 15 to 20 minutes is enough time at one go, then Pete starts to get down about it and tries too hard - do you know what I mean?
I have been trying to find information on how to communicate with someone with aphasia (which is defined as having difficulty with speech and language) but have found absolutely nothing on dealing with Pete's situation. They all say give the person time to get words out, ask them to write or draw - nothing on what to do when all that is impossible as well as gestures being mostly out of the question. The only way he can communicate is to nod or shake his head yes or no, and these are always accompanied by the word yea. We watched a video on YouTube today that was titled 'Sarah tells how it is with aphasia' - the optimum word being 'tells', she speaks well but cannot read. I know we are not the only people dealing with this level of severity but no-one seems to want to admit it exists and how to cope. Pete gets my attention by tapping my arm and from then on it is a guessing game. I would love for someone else in the same position to get in touch and tell me how they cope. Anyone?
Next week we have got a lady from Connect coming to see us. She had a stroke 10 years ago and, from what I can gather, also lost her speech but has now recovered it. I am hoping she may have some answers for me. She is the lady setting up the group in Braunton for people with aphasia, but to be honest, the more I think about it Pete is just going to be sitting there not being able to give any input. I am probably just trying to imagine the worst case scenario in the hope that it will be different to that.
How to end today? Just say Goodnight I think.

Bouncing Around!

First of all, an update on the FES! Unfortunately it has not been removed from the premises! I told Suzanne and Susie that it had caused a lot of pain, and they think it was probably because Pete used it all day every day and so perhaps it over-taxed the muscles, also he was doing a lot more walking around than he used to, so this all contributed to extra muscle usage and therefore led to muscle pain - it does all make sense. Anyway, it was decided that Pete will continue to use it but only for short periods and then build the time up, so we are going to start with an hour a day for a few days, then 2, and so on and so on. But if it continues to cause pain then they will not force him to use it, so we will see, only time will tell.
Today's exercises were the leg lifts from the knee, both lying on his back and sitting stretched on the bed, and also the step ones in the kitchen. Also some new ones were introduced using the gym ball. Suzanne told Pete he was going to sit on the ball and do some bouncing - his face was a picture of horror!! They assured him it would be alright as the bed was on one side, Susie would be on his other side and Suzanne would support him from the back - no problems! So up he got and gingerly lowered himself onto the ball, he could put his left hand on the bed for support, but not for help. Then he had to push up with his feet and bounce! It was quite hilarious to watch! Suzanne helped him up and down to start with and Susie had a hand on his right knee to keep it on the floor and it went ok once he got the hang of what he was doing. It took a lot of effort though. Then, whilst sitting on the ball, he had to move the ball round in circles, not big circles but just slightly. For a first time he soon got the hang of what to do and it will get easier. Suzanne assured me she was not going to ask me to do this one with him - just as well methinks!!! Again, it was an hour of full-on effort for Pete. He has to continue with extra walking and also practice more using the normal stick.
Pete has been much happier the last couple of days, and, therefore, so am I. He is still very susceptible to sad reports and films on the tv, but just has to live with this! If it is a film with a sad bit coming, he looks at me and is laughing because he knows he is going to have to cry! But if it is a sad news story or documentary he can get very upset.
And that is about it for today - shorter than usual to everyone's relief no doubt!!

And So to Bed!!

Last night was much, much better. We went to bed at our usual time, both of us being very tired, rather than stay up later. I was out like a light and Pete wasn't too far behind I think, we woke at 2 and had a cup of tea and then back to sleep until 7.30am, another cup of tea (!) and back to sleep again! Until 9.30am!! Pete's leg was still aching a bit, but he took 2 more paracetamol in bed and this helped.
This morning Pete chose not to put the ankle brace on and used nothing all morning when walking around. Then this afternoon he put it on again. His leg is still a bit painful but getting easier he says. I couldn't find anything on Google about the FES causing this sort of problem, only that, very rarely, it can increase spasticity - is that what this is? I'm not really sure. Anyway, decision made so we will see what Suzanne says tomorrow about it.
We have done letters and their sounds again, same procedure as yesterday. Repetition is the only way to get the information in his brain. We also did a bit of trying to make new sounds, but again the perseverance kicked in.
Exercises went much better, all of them done with the exception of bouncing the gym ball. I don't think Pete trusts me to do this one with him yet.
Pete is next to me at the moment and wants me to mention his arm - I think! It is getting very tight again now and he is ready for the next Botox injection, which is on 15th, so not too long to wait. His wrist is painful again when doing stretches and he doesn't let me do much at all although he does let Susie do quite a bit. His hand is also clawing up again. He doesn't wear the splint as much as he should but I can't force him.
We have read quite a bit more of 'the book' over the last few days, and although Edwyn is having physio 3 times a week, she doesn't say exactly what they do. But again, it sounds like it is a private Physiotherapist they go to see. She does mention that the physio recommended a gadget to help his walking, but doesn't say what it is so can only presume it is a FES, but she only mentions it once in passing so we don't really know. She talks about Edwyn having severe aphasia, but, from my point of view, I find it hard to believe that she actually understands how severe it can be, after all he does have speech. Not flowing speech admittedly, but speech all the same and he can get his thoughts and wants across. So, although the story is really interesting and they have had a hard time, I can't really compare it to our situation. They are obviously well off in that they employ private therapists, she installed and then removed a stair lift, but they also eat out very frequently and have friends and relatives around most of the time - so I don't think she knows that feeling of coping alone and struggling along on your own. But don't let that put anyone off reading it if you get the chance, it is still an inspiring account of his recovery.

Abandoned!!

Today we have abandoned FES! Last night we had about 2 hours sleep each, at different times. We had decided to stay up til about 1 or 2am in the hope that Pete would sleep better. We lasted until 12.30am and then went to bed, but it didn't help. After much discussion (!!) Pete indicated his leg was really bothering him, he was in quite a bit of pain with it and paracetamol didn't help. He put the FES on again this morning but when doing his exercises he was really rubbing his leg and wincing. Anyway we decided that the cause of the pain was the electrodes - he said the ache was inside his leg rather than sore skin. He took it all off and put the ankle brace back on, and he does seem to be much happier using that. He had more paracetamol after taking it off and now says, although still a bit painful, it is much better than it has been for a couple of days. I can't see a lot of difference in the lift of his foot, so we have decided to stay with what he is happiest with. Hopefully we will have a better night tonight - don't know what time we will retire though!! At least he has given it a go, and even though we thought it was brilliant, it just wasn't meant to be. So be it!
We have done letters and their sounds today and moved on a bit in so far as I asked him what letter he would write for the start of some words, it was a bit hit and miss but quite encouraging. This is the way to go - hopefully we can write notes to each other eventually!! I know I have said before that we were going to do this or that, but I really think now that words are going to be the answer. As soon as he gets the sound connection we will be away.
Pete has got potato peeling down to a fine art now, the dyspraxia has been kicked to the curb, he sets it up, jabs the potato on, peels it from the right angle, keeps turning it as necessary and Bob's your uncle!!
Hopefully, if Pete's leg feels better tomorrow, we will get back to full exercises. As I am writing this it has occurred to me that this was why yesterday's exercises didn't work and also why he decided not to go to Tesco's last night - could be I think.
Well, as I have been awake since about 4 this morning I am feeling a bit zombie like! Pete has had another 2 hours sleep after tea, so he is a bit better, but we will stay up as long as possible. If it isn't better tonight then I may employ a hammer to knock him out or else perhaps a whiff of chloroform!!! I AM joking, just in case anyone thinks I mean it!!!

Not Much Doing!

I couldn't think of a good title today, so just plumped for the obvious - not much doing! This about sums up today.
Bev, the Speech Therapist, came and was pleased with the progress regarding the alphabet. She tried saying letters randomly and getting him to write them down, almost 100% correct! But if you say the sounds the letters make Pete can't make the connection, so we have to continue writing letters but as well as saying the letter, also make the sound, hoping he will make the connection eventually. She also tried him on sounds and trying to get words to pop out, but no success. He has become fixated on the 'mu' and 'Lu' sounds and we can't seem to get past them. To be honest, my feeling is that his speech will never return although I would never say that to him. We have to be upbeat and encouraging all the time. This is a very depressing thought for me, that he will never spontaneously talk to me again, but I am now pinning my hopes on him eventually being able to write words and perhaps communicate in that way, but it won't be the same. Perhaps I am being too pessimistic but that is my feeling.
Pete also got a letter today for a new group starting up in Braunton for people with aphasia, which is being run by Connect. Bev really wants Pete to go and she says she is happy to take us to the first meeting, but after that we have to make our own way there which is fair enough, but this could be a problem - we will have to find someone to take us. That is at the end of January.
Also today we got a phone call from the community rehab nurse who made an appointment to come and see Pete in a couple of weeks to just do a health check (mainly questions) but she will also do his blood pressure which is a relief as I have been worried about whether that is alright. I thought his GP would have asked him to make an appointment for a check - but not a squeak from him, which, as I have said before, doesn't impress me.
Pete peeled the potatoes again tonight - I had to go away and leave him to it. He did them fairly quickly so assume he didnt have too many problems. They were fine when I came to cook them. I think he is trying to do more things so that I will feel happy about going back to work, which is looming on the horizon now.
Not much success with exercises today, Pete wasn't really inspired to do them, so it was as few as possible of the basics. He has been pretty down for the last couple of days and the nights are getting bad again. He has been doing his walking up and down though and now seems to be getting on with the FES gadget really well.
Martin took me to Tesco tonight, Pete was going to come but then decided not to which wasn't a good sign really. He had got changed and everything but then opted out.

Progress

Over the last few days Pete has been trying to write words from memory, not too successful. But I did discover something which is progress! I decided to see what letters of the alphabet he could write without any clues as to what they looked like. So, starting with A and finishing with Z, I told him the letters and, with the exception of about 4/5 he could write them all from his memory, even ones we haven't touched on since his stroke, for example J and Z. So this means it is starting to come back. He can't write words spontaneously, but seems to now know all the letters. Today we have gone one tiny step further in that, after a twenty question session, I gleaned he wanted me to do something for him. I asked him if he could write the first letter of a word that would help, and he wrote W, that narrowed the field tremendously!! Windows? Wash something? Water something? Wear something? No to everything, so I thought well, that's it, W is wrong. Then he got up and went to the bathroom and got the scales - aaah, weigh him!!! So W was right, brilliant, just me not guessing that one! As I have said before, we go round and round in a very convoluted fashion! Pete has also given me two other first letters of words which have proved to be correct. So, I am hopeful we can use this more often - it is still difficult but it doesn't half help!
Tonight he also peeled the potatoes for tea! Again, progress. It took a while and he tried to give up a couple of times, but, after persuasion, he persevered and managed it. The dyspraxia tried to kick in in that it took several goes before he realised he had to use the central metal bit and just had to pull it over the surface, not try to dig it in the potato with the corner. The metal spikes that hold the potato in place are a bit dodgy - anyone got any better ideas on how to hold it in place? You have to keep taking it off and jabbing it back on in a different position. As I said, it was a very laborious process but he achieved success and will get better with practice. It is the first time he has shown any interest in using the peeler, and, I think, did very very well.
Then, after tea, Pete went off to do the dishes on his own. He usually washes and I dry and put away. I also usually do all the pans first. But tonight he indicated he didn't want me there and would do it all on his own - which he did. I went through to see how he was doing after a while and met him coming back, asked if he wanted a cup of tea, went to the kitchen and found everything done and two cups of tea waiting for me to carry through!!
So, all in all, excellent progress. The only down side at the moment is that we both seem a bit short tempered and emotional - its the weather and time of year I think which is getting us down. We had a dry day on Tuesday but the last 2 days have been very wet with that thick drizzly mist, and January and February are always rubbish months with rubbish weather and nothing to look forward to, so roll on March and signs of Spring!

Washed Away

No post yesterday as, unfortunately, our New Years Day was washed away on a sea of tears! I don't know why, it was just one of those days that arrives, smacks you in the face, hangs around to torment you for several hours, then moves off!
Today has been much better thank goodness. Pete didn't get on very well with FES yesterday for some reason, he kept fiddling with the control, adjusting the level of the stimulation. In the morning I marked his leg with permanent marker - that didn't go very well as when we took the electrodes off the marks had transferred from his leg onto the pads, helpful!!! So we assumed that had damaged the electrodes and interfered with the signal strength which had caused his problems during the day. We didn't put it on this morning and got ready to confess to Suzanne that we had wrecked her gadget! Luckily, after explaining to Suzanne, she said that was no problem and that wouldn't affect it (huge sigh of relief), so back on it went with her showing me where to put the pads. Apparently Pete has perfect legs - skinny!!!! This means it is easy to find the boney nodules and muscle which are the best places. Once the electrodes are on then there is a test button just to check foot movement and then they can be moved slightly if necessary, before connecting the whole thing and completing the circuit. It has worked fine today, so still don't really know what caused his problems yesterday.
Today's exercises with Suzanne and Susie involved the leg lifting we have to do every day, and they were very pleased with the progress he has made, also bouncing the gym ball himself and then bouncing it to and from Suzanne and she kept changing direction slightly to move his balance from one side to the other. He did this perfectly so this is another one we can add to our repertoire - I haven't attempted it before as was afraid he could overbalance and fall. His balance is really very good considering. He has been doing walking as instructed as well. Then it came to the dreaded foot sliding which Pete finds very very hard, so they decided to try a different approach which involves him lying on his front on the bed (this is quite a difficult position for him to get into, the right arm gets in the way) and then lifting his leg from the knee up into the air, my goodness this was so much easier for him to do, also he can hook his right leg over the left and use the left leg to lift it as far as possible to get the stretch, which means he is more in control. He was quite relaxed when doing it today. Then, to finish, step exercises in the kitchen. By the end of the session he was quite tired as had had a full hour of non-stop effort.
This evening we watched Celebrity Mastermind and I don't mind telling you I actually did quite well!!! Whenever Pete knew the answer he just said 'yes', so who is to know whether he was right or not!!! He may have been cheating!