Sun Makes A Difference

Today dawned bright and sunny, cold, but sunshine makes such a difference. As usual we had a pretty disturbed night - I think I've just got to accept that as the norm now.
After doing all the normal morning chores I looked outside and the ground seemed pretty dry so we decided to just go outside and have a walk around. We are very lucky in that our flat is in a very large old house which has plenty of gardens to go around. We started off going all round our garden which has 4 flower beds which are separated by quite uneven crazy paving, after a couple of reminders to really lift his right knee Pete was fine and inspected all the beds, then went down some really dodgy old steps which lead onto the drive, up the sloping drive and along in front of the house, back to the drive and up some other steps and into the greenhouse and then he was going to go onto some grass but thought better of it as there are still remnants of frozen snow amongst it. Back down the steps and back into the house, it took about half an hour but did Pete a lot of good. Nothing like fresh air when you are mainly stuck in the house.
This evening Martin took us to get some speaker wire (Pete wants the speakers moved, something I am not looking forward to as I know I'm going to get it wrong and he will get very angry) and we decided not to take the wheelchair as you can park right outside the shop and it is very roomy and all on the level. Pete managed fine but it did make us realise he is not ready for the supermarket yet, there was nowhere to rest and he was struggling by the time we got back to the car. I think it makes a difference if he knows he can stop at any time, but when he knows he has no choice but to keep walking it must seem like miles left to go. When we were out in the hospital grounds he knew he could give up when he wanted as I had the wheelchair and this seemed to spur him on.
Pete has been a bit more cheerful today, not so sad as yesterday. I often wonder what he thinks of the whole situation, how he feels about not being able to go out where and when he wants, does he think I am too controlling as I mostly have to make any decisions. Does he feel he has lost control of his own life? Everybody else is basically running his life for him now - I can't imagine how he deals with this, it must be so hard for him.
Well tomorrow we will be moving the speakers so may have killed each other by the end of the day!!!! I used to tell him off before for not explaining things and just expecting me to know, so it will be even worse when he can't explain and just gets angry so fast!