Self Absorbed and Selfish

Today I read that someone says Bloggers are self-absorbed people. Am I self-absorbed? I don't think so but perhaps I am not the one to judge, that's up to others. I may well be, but everyone is entitled to their opinion. As anyone who has read my blogs from last October will know, I started writing them mainly as a vent for my feelings, be they joy, sadness, depression, exhilaration and everything in between, this is MY therapy (so perhaps I am self-absorbed) and also in the hope I would get feedback from others in the same situation (that didn't work!). Two more reasons were to keep family and friends updated and so I wouldn't burst into tears and embarrass people who asked how it was going, and the final reason was I couldn't find anyone else blogging about caring for a stroke survivor. So, that is why I blog - judge for yourself.
Now being selfish is another matter entirely. I readily admit to being very selfish and, at times, quite resentful of what I have to do to help Pete recover some of his previous life style. Today I did opt out of the physio session and stayed in the living room, on my own, reading a book - it was a blissful 45 minutes when I didn't have to think about Pete as I knew he was being looked after and kept occupied by professionals and, therefore, would not claim my attention. I used to read voraciously but can't do that now and I do miss it. I feel very selfish when trying to do some therapy with Pete and it is not going well, I can lose my temper and patience with him - afterwards I can see that is wrong - what is it like for him trying to relearn stuff? But at the time - I just can't help myself. When I go to town to do shopping I feel selfish in that I can do that and he can't any more. I feel selfish in that I say I miss talking to him, again I'm only thinking of myself and not how it is for him. I feel selfish when rushing around trying to do something, knowing he can't be speedy any more. There are many, many more instances when I am only thinking of myself, too numerous to list. As I said, I really miss having time to myself to do what I want, when I want, for as long as I want. I am always conscious of where Pete is and what he is doing and usually worrying about him!!
But there, as they say, life is a bitch sometimes.
Well, I have done two wingey, whiney blogs on the trot now - I will try to do better tomorrow!! But I do feel better now for writing all that down! My reason for blogging works!!!