Together Forever

Together forever, that is Pete and his catheter!!  It was the appointment with the consultant urologist today and it went ok apart from one blip.  I gave Pete a lecture before we went and told him he had to remain calm and not get into a rage like last time and if he did, then I would just wheel him out!!  Harsh, I know, but he had to be told after his last appointment there!  It was a different consultant from last time and he was very nice although we had to wait ages whilst he read the notes.  Anyway, it seems the stroke has affected the muscles in the right hand side of the bladder so it will never empty completely as it should.  The catheter Pete has at the moment is the usual one with the usual entry point for men (you know where I mean!!!) and this is what has been causing all the pain and discomfort despite Pete thinking it is always infections which he is obsessed with! When I told the consultant he had all this pain Pete immediately denied that (this was the blip that made me look stupid and as if I was making it up) and insisted it is infections but the dr said all the symptoms he has of infections are just natural discharges and debris - which Pete still won't accept.   But I think the dr agreed it is just the catheter itself causing discomfort.  So, the answer, is to insert a suprapubic catheter.  This basically involves a minor procedure to insert the catheter in through the abdominal wall straight to the bladder - it still involves bags etc but should relieve all his personal bits (!!!) of the pain.  I have told Pete that it will stop all the pain and stop infections - in the hope that he will give up on that one!  We now wait for a date for the procedure to be done under local anaesthetic.

We had a really bad day yesterday with Pete wanting me to ring the dr and getting angry when I said no. Eventually I gave in and asked for the duty dr to ring back.  As luck would have it, our own GP was the duty dr.  When he rang back I first of all asked for more of the morphine based painkiller and Pete got into an almighty rage with much shouting and bellowing as he assumed I wasn't going to say he had an infection.  He grabbed my arm and I had to force him off me and go into another room to continue the call.  The dr was quite concerned to hear all this going on but prescribed what I wanted and also antibiotics in case there was an infection in there.  This made me feel so cross with Pete and, unfortunately, that mood lasted all day and the atmosphere was very cold!  I just feel sometimes that, although he has had a stroke which has devastated his life, he also has to realise that my life has also changed for the worse and he can't keep treating me the way he does at times when I am trying to do my best.

So, there we are, life has to go on much the same as before with no miracle occurring to get rid of the catheter.