Yesterday Pete went for his Cystoscopy which I was very nervous about as wasn't sure how he was going to react. When we arrived there were 2 doors to negotiate which were quite awkward but a lady jumped up and held the door which was really good of her. There seemed to be quite a few people waiting which made my heart sink as Pete doesn't cope well with long long waits! But, all was well as they were all women and they run two rooms - one for men and one for ladies, ideal! We only had to wait about 10 minutes and that was spent filling in a form. Finding somewhere to sit with the wheelchair next to me looked like it wasn't going to happen but luckily a couple offered to switch chairs so I could get on the end with Pete next to me. There is this odd British habit of never sitting near a stranger if you can help it - always leave a space!! They allowed me in with Pete to do questions etc and then he was taken off for the procedure and I returned to the waiting room. He was gone for about 20 minutes before they called me back to be there for the results which, thank goodness, were that they found nothing abnormal. That was a relief as I was worried about his prostrate - always a concern with older (!!) men. Pete seemed fine afterwards although he kept indicating his leg - I think, but am by no means sure, they gave him an injection in his leg which hurt! I may have got that all wrong!
Today when he woke he did take 2 painkillers and indicated his groin but I am hoping this is just discomfort after yesterday, after all they took his catheter out, inserted a telescopic camera, removed that and then put in a new catheter - that's got to cause some pain!!!! He has seemed a bit down today but I think it is just the after effects. He was told to drink lots after the procedure and I had to get up in the night to change the overnight bag which was full!! Anyway that is now over and done with - next on the agenda is Urodynamics which will last 2 hours! Also if all goes well I can now book the catheter removal trial.
Today Candy, the psychologist, rang to see how we were doing as I had to cancel her last appointment. Pete said he would like her to come so that visit will be next week on Friday. She will pick up Hughie, her dog, on the way. She was asking how I am and has recommended a book called 'The Selfish Pig' which is written by a carer and talks about all the feelings of guilt, selfishness, resentment and murderous thoughts we carers go through! All apparently written in a very human and humerous way and not just a litany and lecture on what to do. So, straight onto Amazon, and that is ordered!! People ask me 'and are YOU getting support?' and I always say yes, but actually I don't get any professional support apart from Candy - where is it and what is available? I really don't know. If I say, in front of Pete, how hard I find it at times then he gets terribly upset, so I tend to hold back really which probably isn't good, but also who wants to listen to a list of my woes! That's why you, readers of my blog, get it full on! Sorry about that! I do keep a diary where I write everything, including how I feel, down but that is something I would never want anyone to read - people would probably think I am really horrible!
Also today Pete's GP rang to see how he is doing. Gave him an update and he has said that Pete should go back onto some antibiotics just to counter any chance of infection from yesterday. I can't say enough times how glad I am we changed his GP.
So, now back to drifting along I hope for a few days.
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