Here We Go Again!

What did I say? Onwards and upwards! Well, someone somewhere laughed their socks off and put a stop to that! 

Whoever, whatever is in charge of our life, destiny, call it what you will, they decided we had drifted along nicely for too long.  Time to put a stop to that tiny feeling of moving onwards!  

It started at 1.30 am on Monday morning - Pete woke me to show me the catheter had become disconnected from the leg bag, GREAT, a wet bed to sort out!  I had to change all the bed clothes, help Pete get washed and changed and wash and turn the mattress as it was damp aswell. (Then had to be turned again in the morning and dried out).  I'm not sure why this happened but we have now wrapped insulating tape around the connection to make sure it doesn't happen again.  I keep asking myself why we have to deal with these totally unnecessary mishaps - you know the sayings, What goes around comes around, Evil comes to those who evil do, You reap what you sow, etc, etc, well, all I can say is that we must both have done something so bad in the past but I wish I knew what it was.  It may sound silly but I have really racked my brains and memory and, honestly, I don't know what we did to deserve all this.  The stroke and level of aphasia is hard enough without anything else.

Then, as if that wasn't enough, whoever, whatever, threw in another urine infection for Pete to endure (and me in a roundabout way).  Tuesday evening Pete showed me there was blood in his urine, it was really quite red, but then cleared again. So Wednesday morning asked for a phone call from the GP as Pete was obviously in pain again - so, it is back on our old friend antibiotics.  I wish Pete didn't feel such an intensity of pain but it seems that is all part of the stroke effects.

Sometimes it really feels like I am hanging over a cliff,  just holding on with my fingertips, and then someone comes along and slowly but surely, one by one, is prising my fingers off.  I know one day I am going to fall and there will be no-one to catch me.

Candy came on Tuesday morning for a psychology session and, again, Pete said everything was really good. But, this time, I think she guessed it wasn't and after a few gentle questions Pete did admit to feeling low again.  Anyway, it was a good session and quite a lot was discussed and sorted as much as it can be.  As she said, it is a hell of a thing to have to live with and Pete (and me) is entitled to feel depressed at times, this is all part of the process.  There is no magic wand to make everything better - all we can do is try to get through the hard times - but this is difficult when nothing is going well.

So, I'm afraid it's not onwards and upwards, more like backwards and downwards!!