Quiet Day

Nothing much has happened today. We have had a very quiet day, didn't get up until late as Pete didn't sleep at all well last night. Why is it that you can't sleep in the night, then when morning is near you fall into a deep sleep?!?! Good job I don't have to go to work at the moment.
I have bought some Christmas cards and done some online shopping - so made a start at last!
We did some leg exercises and stretching and a bit of letter recognition. Pete is still trying to wiggle his toes with a bit more success today!! So he is a bit happier. We have had one anger episode but nowhere near as bad as they used to be and he soon got over it.
It has been nice to have a chilled out day without worrying about what we should be doing.
And that is it for today!! Sorry it is a bit boring - but sometimes we find boring is good!!

Toe Wiggling!

Pete's leg is still causing discomfort today. He has only worn his ankle brace for about half an hour and has had his slippers on, rather than shoes, all day. I mentioned it to Suzie and she said the discomfort may be caused by the brace or be because his hamstring muscles in the thigh and behind the knee have become tight this week. She did a lot of work to try to relax them which is fine, but then I think they tighten again. She said he will probably ache tomorrow after the stretching they had today! He can get around the house alright without the brace but must wear it outside where the ground can be uneven. He has also become very concerned about this toe wiggling!! He used to be able to do it with not much problems, but last night couldn't make them move, and tonight he keeps trying - some times it works, other times not. The trouble is that he keeps on at it and if it doesn't work he gets a bit frustrated, and it seems the harder he tries the worse it is.
I think the family is jinxed at the moment because today Mel has had an accident and badly torn the ligaments in her ankle! Her Dad has also been in hospital but, thankfully, on the road to recovery and back at home now. All we need is for Martin to have something happen and we are up the creek without a paddle!!!
Pete's brother Gary popped in for a visit today which was nice to have chat with someone. Pete enjoyed seeing him.
Pete has been a bit happier today and this morning we did some more letter recognition exercises which was good as we haven't done that for a few days. Also he has been trying to make some more sounds. We need to practice this a lot more than we do at the moment. Nowadays speech therapy is more to do with establishing communication than making the sound of letters and words which is what it used to be a few years ago. So mouth exercises and letter sounds have been a bit neglected.
There always seems so much to try to do, with the result that not a lot gets done as it is all a bit overwhelming and sometimes I don't know which is the most important. We tend to concentrate on one thing instead of doing a little bit of everything every day. As I have said before, I really want to get him writing or drawing and I tend to concentrate on the letters and copying words. But now I need to change all that!!!

Plateau

We seem to have reached a plateau where no progress is being made. In fact, it seems to be tilting slightly backwards - in some things Pete is slightly less able than he has been. He is having a bit of a problem with his right leg at the moment. Last night he woke and indicated it was uncomfortable, I think it was aching rather than sore, and this evening his foot is really icy icy cold. I have been rubbing it for about 1/2 hour and it has warmed slightly, though not much. He has also taken his ankle brace off and put his slippers on which is unusual. He has also been trying to wiggle his toes without much success - he can usually do this. I have noticed he isn't lifting his foot as much as usual when walking. I need to keep an eye on how this progresses. The right arm seems to have been a bit painful today too.
The aphasia, again, is causing problems. I think this is the reason he has been so down this last couple of days. He keeps getting up, moving to another chair or sofa, then just sitting there staring at the floor for a while before moving on again. I asked him today why he was doing this but, of course, couldn't really get an answer. He just seemed really upset about the whole scenario. I suggested I contact the doctor and see about some anti-depressants and suggested this may make him feel better and try to do more to get a breakthrough - but this met with an emphatic shake of the head. So, we finally agreed to do more work tomorrow with letter recognition. He feels he isn't doing very well at all, whereas he is as he can pick out some letters.
When we went out for a walk this afternoon he wobbled a couple of times on the steps and very nearly went over, none of this makes him feel any better. Or me, come to that. I feel I should push him on to do things but I haven't got the heart when he doesn't want to do it. I am trying to get him to give a clue when he wants to say something - no luck so far, and this is so frustrating when I can't find the subject, despite many many suggestions. So, all in all, I don't feel of much use at the moment. It is at these times that I feel quite isolated and on my own.
But, I have to keep telling myself, tomorrow is another day and may be quite different.

Christmas is Coming!

Well, Christmas Day is exactly 4 weeks today! I know this because it is Adrian's birthday and that means 4 weeks to go. Today he has hit the grand old age of 30! I hope he has had a good day, at least he and Amie both had the day off. Photos today are of Adrian (not acting his age!) and one of him and his lovely partner Amie. They were taken in July on one of the few dry sunny days we had when they were down in this part of the woods.
Pete hasn't seemed particularly upbeat today, not wanted to do anything, although he did put some CD's on at one point when I was cleaning. The physio session was cancelled and re-scheduled for Thursday. It has seemed quite a long day today. The weather has been wet, again, and when it wasn't raining it was thick cloud - that makes you feel depressed in itself.
We have been out to Lidl tonight to do some shopping but even that didn't particularly cheer him up. One thing I find really annoying is that he won't turn the wheel on his wheelchair, still insists on using his left leg, so if he wants to stop he just puts his foot on the floor and one of these days I am going to hurt it because I am still trying to push it along. Also, if he were to turn the wheel then I wouldn't find it so hard to push it as he would be helping. I really don't know why he won't do it.
Also had a few communication problems but at least he didn't get angry. I have said before about him getting very emotional, well tonight he was crying watching the news about flooding in Wales, especially when they said an elderly lady had been found dead in her house. These sad stories really affect him. He would have been concerned before, but since the stroke, they really upset him.
I must start some Christmas shopping soon, just can't seem to get interested in it yet. Mind you, that isn't unusual! Today is the day I always think I must get on with it.

New Equipment!

On Friday I went out and bought, at the request of the physiotherapists, a gym ball!!! This isn't for me!! When I was asked if we had one I was a bit scared as to what they were going to get Pete to do with it! I couldn't really picture him being able to roll around the floor on it yet! However, it was put to a very good use. Pete's right hand was placed on it and then his left hand on top of the right, and then he had to gently roll it around. This stretched his right arm as well as giving him a different sensation through his right arm and hand. He also had to have a hand either side of it and lift it up and then down and drop it. Then, after a lot of work with the ball, Suzanne was behind him on the bed with both arms around his trunk and he had to sink back against her whilst trying to keep his feet on the floor (I am pretty sure he REALLY enjoyed this exercise!!!!!). The muscles on top of his right thigh were really tight and Susie had to work on that to get them relaxed in order to keep the foot on the floor. Then, finally, before moving on to the kitchen for stepping exercises, the ball was gently rolled towards him for him to kick back. This gets the right leg kicking out forwards instead of to the side. All good stuff. Again he was worked really hard and as it was all new exercises I think he really felt the effects of it afterwards as he took a couple of paracetamols. This is actually good as it means all the muscles have worked harder than they are used to. You know the feeling yourself when using muscles you haven't used for ages. Using the ball also made it all a bit more fun than just straight exercises.
I forgot to tell you yesterday that Pete had a fall! Not a bad one - he doesn't seem to go down with a thump just gently topples!! It was when we were going out. As he gets in and out the door himself I wasn't really watching him, I was busy getting the wheelchair collapsed and into the car. I'm not sure exactly what happened, possibly he didn't quite get his foot down flat from the step, anyway over he went! As Martin was there it was relatively easy to get him up, no big drama. In fact, when Martin asked Ella did she see Grandad fall, she said no and was possibly quite disappointed she missed it!! He had no after effects and the afternoon was fine, but this morning he had got a bit of red knee, but no broken skin or anything.
More physio tomorrow, but not with the ball, mostly core leg exercises with Suzie. But we will work with it over the next few days.

Trip Out

I think I am starting to be more accepting of our situation and realise I have to take it day by day and not just see a long dark road ahead - which is how I felt yesterday. I am pretty sure it was reaction to Friday - which seemed fine at the time, but yesterday it just hit me that there is no five minute fix. I knew that really, but being told there isn't much going to improve with Pete's arm and that his communication will continue for 2 or 3 years, it seemed that we had 2 or 3 years of being the same as we are now - and, of course, that is not the case. It is going to happen but it will be over time and quite slow. But today I feel I probably will be able to deal with it, providing I don't try to see the future! No looking ahead too far, just accept every tiny step as he takes it. It does seem that we are pushing rocks with feathers at times, but other times I feel very positive and feel we are on a roll - so, just roll with it, deal with each day as it comes and goes, accept there will be bad times but there will also be good times. Pete hasn't been too smiley of late and I really miss that, but they will return.
Today we have been watching the news a lot about all the flooding, it has not affected us thank goodness but we really feel for all the people who have had their homes flooded. We would normally have had a good talk about this and I do miss that. But never mind!
This afternoon we went out with Martin, Robbie and Ella (whilst poor Mel was at work!!) and we went to Westward Ho! and into the arcades. Parked in the Disabled Bays and displayed Blue Badge for first time!! Then we had to get to the arcade which was fairly near, but had to look at all the kerbs to cross the road - this is all so new, and we take so much for granted. I can't get the wheelchair over a normal kerb as Pete is about 10 stone and then the wheelchair weighs about 35 to 40 lbs, so it is impossible for me unless we find all the dropped kerbs. Luckily, the arcade was all wheelchair friendly and we had a really enjoyable time there with the kids. We walked along and could see the sea which was quite rough in places and very loud!! Very bracing as they say! Just to get out and about and mix with everyone (again you never think about this) in a normal way was so good. When we came out it was raining again!!
This evening we have done FaceTime with Adrian which is always nice, and Pete really enjoys seeing him, even though he can't say anything. But always a bit emotional when we have finished.
Then, cherry on the cake, we have arranged to go to Martin and Mel for Christmas lunch.
Altogether, a much more positive day.

Rubbish Day

I am finding it very hard to deal with the whole situation today - just going to write it off I think.
No more to say.